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July 11, 2011

Dreams of guilt

This is my entry to Techie She’s Lucky Blogger Weekly Giveaways Week No. 6. This week’s prize is one year free blog hosting sponsored by MaBelle of MB’s Tips, Thoughts and Reviews

Lately, I've been having some weird dreams. Some are hilarious though I tend to forget it after some time. All I know is that I just dreamed of something funny or unrealistic. But.. a while ago, I dreamed of something very realistic. The dream started just like my previous dreams of being weird and funny, but then there are some turning points that what I remember the most is the realistic one. It turned to something very realistic that it made me feel scared and felt guilty.

Here's what I dreamed about... the realistic part.
I was inside a car with my younger brother and we were dropped off at a certain place around our hometown. It was during the night, but there were orange lights at the sides of the road which made it bright in orange color. Then came my other older brother who was riding a jeep (not the jeep for passengers). In the dream, I thought he was going to give us a ride but he didn't and then I said how stingy he is. Then.. for some reason, it just turned out then that we are walking together, my younger brother and my older brother. While walking, there was this man who is a bit fat, perhaps weighing more than 200 pounds. He was with a little girl... and while they were overtaking us while we are all walking... the little girl said "Mama/Manong.. tama na po.. wag niyo na po ako imassage"... translation to English... "Mister... please stop it.. please stop/don't massage me."... Then in the dream, it was as if the child was being forced by the man for her to come. We heard it and we knew that the man was doing something suspicious. It was as if he was going to rape the little girl. And as they are finally in front of us walking... I wanted to help the child.. but became scared of what might happen... and then there were two guys behind us who were also walking. Then my brother mentioned something about.. "Achievement ba yan? Yan ba ang achievement?" translation to English "That's an achievement? Yo call that an achievement?"... I don't know why he said that.. but he was referring to the guys who appeared walking behind us who then started walking beside us.. not entirely beside.. but with a bit of distance. And then there were some changes of the scene...and that.. my memory of it is blurry. But.. it is really bothering me.

That's what I mostly remember of the dream.... especially the part of what the little girl said.. and yet I did not help her. I felt sadness and guilt when I opened my eyes after my sleep. I was thinking... whether that dream has a meaning to it. Can anyone give me reasons, explanation, or even tips of overcoming this?

July 4, 2011

Loner, me?

I remember once being branded as loner by my classmates during childhood. I admit I don't have many close friends, but I do have friends. I had best friends too. But for some reason, they go away not because they are starting to hate me, but because of their parents work. They needed to move some place else far away. And they need to change schools. Communication is a bit difficult. At that time, a child having a cellphone is not a common thing. It's a pity, but it can't be helped. And so, I felt alone.

My parents pick me up at school at a late time compared to my other classmates back then. Most of the time, me and my siblings are the one to go back home last of the entire school. That's how my parents are so busy at work. But, they don't need to worry much about us because the school is big and safe enough. We got used to it and it's no biggy for us except that we get bored and start to get hungry. Hahaha! We understand that they are doing those overtime work for our sake.

Since my classmates before go home earlier, I don't have someone to play with. I have siblings but our interests are sometimes a bit different. I sometimes play basketball with them even as a girl, and I think that's the reason why I came to be athletic. I learned to love different sports.

Being alone is a common thing to me but I did not realize that I am being considered as a loner. I found out that they thought of me that way when I was in my 6th grade of elementary. An activity where we had to pass around a paper and whoever's paper you get, you write how you describe the person. And there I saw the word "loner".

July 1, 2011

SkinB5 is the cure?

Right now, I am suffering from pimples and acne on my face. It's very disturbing and it greatly lowers my self-esteem. Of course, I wouldn't just leave it at that. I did went to the dermatologist and had facial once every two weeks. I never missed my appointment with them. My condition did got better but I am still having some of my break-outs of pimples.

One time, my dermatologist just got back from her trip from Switzerland and offered to me SkinB5. She gave a sample of 4 capsules. I'm still not sure of the results but I did take the medicine not long ago. She told me it's not what I hear of other medicine that can cause infertility or some sort. It's been proven to be working on solving pimple and acne problems so I might wanna try. I did some research about it and found several positive feedback on it. I read some similar stories about my skin problem of others who tried it and now I am hoping that it will also work on me.

WIll be posting a continuation of the result after some time. Maybe after a month? Let's see what happens. :]

June 29, 2011

Earning with internet

This is my entry to Techie She’s Lucky Blogger Weekly Giveaways Week No. 5. This week’s prize is one year free blog hosting sponsored by MaBelle

With technology, it created various opportunities for several people to earn money, even minors. Internet has become one of the part of source of income of some households. It has become quite popular and several advertisers are willing to pay for ad space and other sorts of service the internet could provide.

My experience of earning money online isn't as good compared to other Filipinos earning thousands from it. As for me I only earn hundreds of pesos and not thousands like them. I started with paid to click programs and ended with paid to post. I realized that paid to post and blogging is much enjoyable than with those paid to clicks although it will take a long time before I reach the minimum amount for payout. I enjoy my time sharing my opinion with others. After all, we can just create a username and manipulate the personal information. What matters is that we will receive the money they will pay into our Paypal account. Since I myself is a minor, I needed to create a Paypal which indicates that I am 18, which is I'm not. I receive payment to my Paypal from various earning sites and sell the funds to people I trust and willing to bargain.

At first, it's exciting knowing the fact that I am earning money for myself without the help of my parents. I was jumping out of happiness and excitement after I got my first pay. Now, I somehow feel indifferent about it. The first payment I ever receive through my hard work with internet became something I treasure. The feeling at that time, I hope it'll repeat when I am finally working full time with my desired job.

Internet has given us several ways to make a living for ourselves. Though there are negative effects, there are also the positives. This is my third post so far, and will be posting more these coming days. Enjoy!

June 28, 2011

Korean Fashion Trends

Personally, I am a fan of Korean fashion. The dress-ups and style really hooks me up. In the Philippines, several Koreans have been visiting in and out of the country and various fashionistas from Korea are influencing the Filipinos, including me.

This red and black checkered dress gives off simplicity, yet a very chic outfit.

A simple dress can be turned to a cheeky one with a little add-ons of accessories.